my (almost) brush with death

Want to hear a funny story? Ya, I knew you would. So, this week has been spring break. I had all these plans to go to lunch with friends, pick up the house, and get some good Law and Order SVU marathons in. I also scheduled a check up with the doctor.

I went to my appointment on Tuesday and after the regular questions, blood pressure test, etc., my doctor started to feel my throat and shoulders. Totally fine, right? Wrong. The doctor found a lump on my throat in the thyroid area. She told me the left side was twice the size of the right side. At this point I'm wishing Karl had come with me.

 After looking concerned for a minute, my doctor said, I want to get you in for an ultrasound of your throat as soon as possible. She could tell I looked worried and stated, "Okay. Well, in this situation one of two things could be wrong. Either you have hypothyroidism (an under active thyroid) or you have thyroid cancer." I didn't hear what she said after that because I just kept thinking, "Cancer?! I could have cancer?!" I tried to keep it together, but the tears came hard and fast. The doctor tried to comfort me to no avail. She told me I could put my clothes back on and she'd be back in a minute. At this point I was sobbing and telling myself to suck it up and be a big girl. Seriously. I told myself to be a big girl.

Within a few minutes of the doctor returning, I had an appointment for an ultrasound at the hospital in a few hours. I got a tetanus shot and my blood drawn... twice and I was back in my car on the phone with Karl sobbing hysterically. Karl left work, met me for lunch, and then we went to the ultrasound. I regained composure and made it through. They told me I wouldn't have the results for up to 3 days.

By this point in the day, Karl had cheered me up quite a bit and we were making jokes about me having cancer. I also made him do everything for me (getting me water, turning the light off, etc). by saying "But I have cannnncerrrrr!!!" Haha. Obviously I'm really mature. Yesterday, after nursing myself with episodes of SVU (and being glad that if I was going to die, at least I wasn't going to be raped and murdered) I got a call from the doctor. Apparently the "thyroid problem" was just a swollen lymph node, meaning I'm probably getting a cold. I sighed a huge sigh of relief and gave Karl the good news. I felt happy, but also disappointed that I couldn't write a book about a twenty-something girl that gets cancer and lives the rest of her days to the fullest that will inevitably make it to the New York Times Best-Seller List because of its poignant insights into life with cancer, told with heart wrenching details.

I guess you win some and you lose some*.

*Of course I'm more grateful I don't have cancer.