For the Love of Daytime TV

So, as a few of you know, I am not a huge fan of daytime TV. I'm not biased, but there's just a whole lot of soap operas, telenovelas, and Mexican gameshows. While I feel that watching some of these shows could freshen up my Spanish, I don't know how often I'm going to be talking about bombs, midgets, and evil twins to native speakers. However, after my work schedule switched to afternoons and school ended I've found myself watching a couple of regular programs. The first, on at 11 was Trivial Pursuit, America Plays (which has since been replaced by some flamboyant woman who thinks she's Tyra's long lost sister, and happens to resemble a man.) The second program, on at 12, is The Tyra Show. At first, I thought she was completely bonkers and self- obsessed. After watching more of the show i've realized both of those things are true, and I love her all the more for it. Haha. Now that my mornings have gotten busier and I work longer days, I find myself scheduling my work breaks to go home and watch the show. All I can do is laugh at myself. I've become obsessed with the Tyra show. You go girrrrlll. Mmmhhhmmmm. ;)

Word Art

Surreal shimmery silhouette
It is never a masterpiece
Though imagine the woman
Dream of me
Think of my passion
Then smear this canvas

Suffer like that vivid metaphor
You use and perform
We waste the world
My empty life, which screamed
From your every sculpture
In aesthetic harmony


I wrote this a while back. No mocking please.

That's Not My Name.

I cannot cannot cannot wait to see this movie.

Today was a pretty good day overall.

I'm so excited to get The Ting Tings CD from Jessica.

I watched "More to Love" and surprise...I love it. Haha.

I made a list of things I love about mysef.

I wrote said list in a notebook I've been carrying around to write my everyday fleeting thoughts.

I'm obsessed with The Shins (Not a recent development, but still important nevertheless).

I'm going to my first softball game of the season tonight.

I'm going to Boston in 2 weeks with Jessica and I can't wait to be touristy (in my home state) and hang out with Nathaniel again.

I want to go to France so bad, and have developed a sudden urge to learn French.

I'm so stoked that I have 10 followers now. Thanks amigos!

That's about all the updates I have for you all. Peace out playas.

Work It

I like being a teller a lot more than being a Sales and Service Associate. It's infinitely more diverting.

"Oy with the poodles already!"

I'm completely in love with Gilmore Girls. I'm pretty sure I've seen every episode and I'm proud of it. I used to watch it with Mom and it was kind of like our bonding show. I miss watching it with her, but watching it now still comforts me. I don't know what it is, but the show is so honest and charming and whitty. I love Stars Hollow. I want to live there. I want to be friends with Lane and Suki. I'm obsessed with the random pop culture references and the speed talking. Yes, I know it's just a TV show but I feels like I'm home when I watch it. I really wish they hadn't ended it so abruptly. I would have loved to see it coninue, but alas, all good things must come to an end...

Sadness is a Weight

Have you ever had a day where everything you try to do is met by opposition? Today is one of those days. I woke up this morning all happy and ready for the day. Now it's 4:24pm and after crying my eyes out, I realize the day didn't go exactly as planned. There is so much stress right now, it's almost unbearable. Work is stress. School is stress. Family is stress. Friends are stress. Money is stress. Most days I can handle it decently, but a good cry can feel good every once in a while, and today I am definitely well deserving of one. I feel like I'm up against completely insurmountable odds and I'm tired of the incessant struggle. I'm exhausted and I feel sick. I can't be an adult all the time. I just want to be a carefree 20 year old. Most people my age are having fun, not having to worry about most of the things I worry about. I'm glad I am who I am, but for once it would be nice not to have to act like I'm 40. Sorry about the rant, but some days I'm just sad. And that's okay.

Yum.

I could really go for a Luigi's Italian Ice right now. I hear they are sold in Utah, but I have yet to find them in my shopping escapades. Maybe one day...

17 Year Old Pessimist

So I made this collage Junior year, so it was a little while ago, but I just rediscovered it and thought I would share. So many things have changed. I'm no longer as pessimistic, for one. I'm also not really friends with most of those people anymore, for two. I definitely feel that overall, my life has changed for the better. I have a stronger sense of self, have become more passionate about the things I love, and let go of the things I didn't love so much. Pretty good progress I'd venture to say.



But I do still love a good freeze pop. :)

Oh What A Night.

Went on a triple date with Jess and Shauna last night. Jess brought Kelso, Shauna brought Eric Stayner, and I brought Scott. Red Robin for dinner, the Bees game after, and a spectacular fireworks show wrapped up the evening. Overall, a pretty great date night.

The New Vid.

Jack's Mannequin "Swim"


<3

Wonderfully Whimsical

Some more Emily Martin magic. :)

The Black Apple

I am in love with everything Emily does. It's just so charming.

La Dolce Vita

I've wanted to see "La Dolce Vita" for way longer than a long time, yet I still never have. Movie night anyone?

These Hammers and Strings Been Following Me Around.

Do you ever have a moment of perfect clarity? When you are able to see yourself and everyone around you from an outsider's perspective? Have you ever had a moment that feels so serendipitous, that it almost makes you want to cry? I had one of those moments on Saturday night. I went to the Jack's Mannequin and The Fray concert at Usana and had many of the best experiences of my life. Very few people understand the connection I have to Andrew McMahon (the lead singer of Jack's) or the life altering music he creates. He saved my life, and it's hard to explain how. He just did. I've been pulled from the depths of despair by his smooth voice and complete understanding of many human trials. Things have definitely not been easy for me as of late. Life is constantly a struggle and It's been getting the best of me. During JM's set, I was just having a great time in the pit, dancing and singing my heart out when "Swim" began to play. Within seconds I was overcome. I found myself crying and letting my emotions wash over me. The lyrics and overall message have helped me move on and not let life get the better of me.

"I found a tidal wave begging to tear down the dawn
Memories like bullets they fired at me from a gun
Crack in the armor yeah
I swim for brighter days
Despite the absense of sun
Choking on salt water
I'm not giving in
I swim."

Keep in mind, I probably looked like an absolute fruit cake, but I just couldn't help myself. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. Gratitude for the music encompassing me, cradling me, healing me. I also would like to echo my previous sentiments about music being sent to us, letting us know we are not alone. I found myself with a renewed feeling of self worth and a new mission to never give up. My faith in the gospel was reinforced, oddly enough, in a mosh pit. Haha. Throughout the rest of the evening, particularly during The Fray, I looked around and saw hundreds of broken people. I realized that despite the fact that we all feel alone, in that moment we were one in our struggles. No matter what anyone else's faith, ethnicity, or moral code, we were brought together for one purpose. To be surrounded by all those that have similar hardships and to come to the realization that none of us are alone. I don't know if anyone else had an epiphany congruent to mine, but that one seemingly unimportant night made all the difference to me.

Craving

So do you ever just have a random celebrity pop into your head and get an undeniable desire to watch one or many of said celebrity's movies? Ya...That just happened. Haha. I got movie craving if you will for Atonement. Whether you love it, or hate it, you can't deny that it's very well done and an absolutely beautiful film. Here's to great movies and the seemingly wonderful talents behind them.

And it doesn't hurt that James McAvoy is ridiculously good looking. Haha.

.

I never say enough.

That Girl.

One day you're going to want that girl. The girl that knew she wasn't perfect, but tried to be perfect for you. The girl that believed the scraps of you she was given were worth it because something was better than nothing. The girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you, & loving you was the only way she could. The girl who sees your flaws, but values them as much as your strengths. The girl who still can't bring herself to hate you, even though sometimes you probably deserve it. The girl who saw past your pretty eyes & treasured parts of you that no one else has ever appreciated. The girl who realizes she may never have your heart, but will carry the image of you in hers forever. The girl that sees this & still loves you. The girl that should have you, but doesn't.

I stole this from Amanda. I love it not only for the simple, strong wording, but also for the universal appeal.

Tastes like tinfoil.

I saw this film, "The Brothers Bloom" last night and I fell in love with that silver screen. It was absolutely charming and lovely and fatastic and heart wrenching and humorous and just wonderful. It hits you on so many different levels and touches your heart. Not to mention it has a temendously talented cast. If you're into artsy, diverse movies, I definitely recommend this film.

There was little we could say, and even less that we could do.

Feeling a tad overwhelmed/melancholy/desperate/hopeless. All in all, not the best of days.

I Love All My Moms...

I love going out to dinner or to the mall with my brother, my sister in law, and their kids. People tend to get the impression that we are polygamists, despite the absence of bonnets or prairie dresses of any kind. It's kind of amusing. Haha.

And We Frolicked About In Our Summer Skins

I saw Harry Potter. Not the best movie ever, but totally worth seeing Kels and BryBry in their HP costumes and Fabs in a Banana costume. Haha. I slept over my sister's last night. Dinner with my brother tonight. I'm pretty shocked by the interest they're showing in me. I definitely love them, it's just not always the case. I'm so grateful to have them and their spouses and chillins. I don't know where I'd be without them.

On another note, watch this video. It was wonderful to see that Nylon did a spread on her. I love her. Too bad she gave up singing professionally. The world will miss what could have been. Keep an eye out for her films however. Oh how I love the French. :)

"Everybody's gonna love today, gonna love today, gonna love today."

So I recently discovered the Life archives and I found some stellar pictures. These are a few of my favorites.

I'd call this a pretty productive work day. ;)

HP6

Going to see Harry Potter 6 at The District at midnight on Wednesday morning with Fabs, Kels, Bry Bry, JoJo, Katie, Jess, Colton, etc. It should be way fun. They want to dress up, and I'm still not sure who (or what) to go as. Any suggestions? I'm super excited for this. Call me a nerd/geek/heathen all you want, but I can't help but love my Harry Potter and the giddiness it evokes in me. Haha.

Called to Serve

Natalie got her mission call today! She should be opening it in T-minus 1 minute. I'm so excited! I feel like it's my mission call! I'm going to miss her beyond comprehension, but at least I'll be on my mission for a good portion of hers. We won't have time to miss eachother. Here's to Natalie Bautner, friend extraordinaire and faithful servant. <3

Update: She's going to Warsaw, POLAND!!! I'm so flipping excited for her!
Update Number 2: She leaves September 16, 2009. So soon! :)

It Makes Me Feel Small

His work is so great.

Memories, Like Bullets.

Went to therapy today. Extremely needed. I adore Periann. Life is hellish. I'm coping well. Everyday is a challenge. Boundaries are needed. I'm allowed to be angry. I'm allowed to be sad. I'm allowed to be me. I can't fix everything, no matter how hard I try. I am a phoenix. I am ready to be new again.

It Disappoints Like Shattered Glass

Life is fragile. I've known this for a very long time. I guess I just never thought mine was. I won't go into the gory details, but I am on the edge of something insurmountably life changing and simulateously crushing to the soul. I'm trying to be a grown up about this, but I think it's okay for me to just be the kid for now. Everything will be alright, I know this, but it still doesn't make life any easier. Again, I would like to pay homage to the musicians that have influenced my life. Jon Foreman is just the right amount of sadness for the moment. Please excuse this rather vague and solemn post.

"When You Wish Upon a Star"

Walt Disney. He was responsible for a majority of my childhood's fondest memories and I'll always be immensely greatful for that. He really knew what he was doing and completely changed the world as I know it. Here's to you Mr. Disney. You brought class to a whole new level.

A Flower for the Lady

This is wonderful. I would be tickled to recieve a boquet of Tulipias. They are my favorite after all. :)

What Peace Is.

I really like going there and being within its walls. Now that's peace.